Governor Sanford: Staying In Office Is God’s Plan

Governor Sanford, I beg of you, please stop waving God and the Bible in everyone’s face. We get it. You’re a pious, righteous person trying to do God’s will.  God didn’t want you to tell the whole truth at that news conference; He wanted to keep you in a fresh news cycle. God didn’t want  you on the Appalachian Trail. He wanted you in Argentina. God didn’t want your state or your wife to know where their governor/husband was. And God wants you to stay away from your soul mate and “try to fall back in love” with your wife.

Those people calling for your resignation aren’t in keeping with God like you are.  Who knows what evil forces are driving them?

“A long list of close friends have suggested otherwise – that for God to really work in my life I shouldn’t be getting off so lightly. While it would be personally easier to exit stage left, their point has been that my larger sin was the sin of pride.”

Yes, Marco. God is punishing you by directing you to stay in the governorship.  It is a difficult penance for you to have to keep your job, but continuing on as one of the country’s 50 state executives is just your cross to bear.

And even though Lt. Governor Andre Bauer may be South Carolina’s citizens’ true political soul mate, they can always try to fall back in love with you.

By: Alan

Alan Colmes is the publisher of Liberaland.