Man’s Obituary: ‘Please Don’t Email Me, I’m Dead’
A Pennsylvania man left behind some advice in his obituary: it doesn’t cost anything to be nice and never stick a knife in an electric outlet.
The self-written obituary has captured the Internet’s attention and launched the 53-year-old into posthumous fame. Kevin McGroarty’s obituary, published in the PA Times Leader, explains that he died Tuesday “after battling a long fight with mediocracy.”
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The obituary reads, “He would like to remind his friends: ‘Please don’t email me, I’m dead.”
“McGroarty leaves behind no children (that he knows of), but if he did their names would be son, “Almighty Thor” McGroarty; and daughter, “Butter Cup Patchouli,” it reads.
If you need to get in touch, “he will be laid to rest at Mount Olivet Cemetery, section 7N. He asks to please make note of his new address. McGroarty’s headstone reads: “I’ll Be Right Back.'”
It notes the location of the funeral: “A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 10 a.m. Monday in St. Cecilia Church of St. Barbara Parish, 1700 Wyoming Ave., Exeter, following a brief rant of how the government screwed up all of the Bugs Bunny cartoons trying to censor violence.”
I finally found my soulmate — in the obituaries.
H/T: King Sir Lord Knight @ComgenKDT with thanks.
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2 responses to Man’s Obituary: ‘Please Don’t Email Me, I’m Dead’
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ChrisVosburg July 29th, 2014 at 10:20
McGroarty’s headstone reads: “I’ll Be Right Back.’”
This, IIRC, is what Johnny Carson said when he was asked to suggest an epitaph for himself. Me, I once suggested for myself “let’s see you talk your way out of this one, smart ass.”
ChrisVosburg July 29th, 2014 at 10:20
McGroarty’s headstone reads: “I’ll Be Right Back.’”
This, IIRC, is what Johnny Carson said when he was asked to suggest an epitaph for himself. Me, I once suggested for myself “let’s see you talk your way out of this one, smart ass.”