GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons: Elephant-Blasting Thunder, Fire and Rain

by toma

What did you do on your vacation? Did you kill anything bigger than your house?

GoDaddy’s CEO, Bob Parsons, did (well, not bigger than his house, his mansion, because that’d be a blue whale, and Bob’s in no shape to tread water). He went to Zimbabwe and shot an elephant.

He claims that’s exactly what you, or he, is supposed to do in Zimbabwe when a bull goes rogue, becomes problematic. You blast it. That saves the villagers’ crops, and then they don’t starve. I’ll have to take his word for it as I know next to nothing about Zimbabwe. Well, other than an awareness of their government playing very fast and loose with “wildlife conservation” policies, I know almost nothing.

Anyhow, Bob was so excited about his elephant-killing that he took a lot of video of it. The clip is a hoot: he talks to the camera as if he were hunting Charlie Manson. He adds Dracula-peeking-through-your-curtains music when the elephants approach, in the dark. He freezes the kill shots so you can see the smoke and fire. And then he poses on top of the carcass. And then, for good measure, whatever measure you imagine to be good this way, he cranks up AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells” while the villagers, wearing GoDaddy hats (what are the odds?), strip the carcass of meat. Good stuff.

As the grateful locals rip the elephant apart, they offer their visiting god, Bwana Bob, a million cheers. Actually, he just slinks away in his truck. But he’s ready to edit and upload his trophy.

By: toma

Foul-mouthed blogger.