An Open Letter To Steve Poizner And Meg Whitman

Posted by | June 7, 2010 21:43 | Filed under: Top Stories

by Webwiseass

Dear Steve and Meg,

As a California voter, I’ve been watching your commercials with an unsettling combination of amusement and irritation. I’m amused at how determined the both of you are in attempting to out-conservative each other; the political bloodletting has been fierce. I’m irritated at the overuse of the word liberal in achieving that end, not that it’s entirely unexpected. Gee, the way you two use the word liberal you’d think one’s tongue would turn to salt if the word were even whispered. Must I reacquaint you with the definition of the word liberal?

I see that you’ve both embraced the new Arizona Apartheid law – all the better to woo the most rightwing of the Republican party, eh? Steve, I swear, if you could organize a photo-op of yourself giving that law a smooch, I believe you’d do it. Look, something has to be done about illegal immigration, but this ‘law’ is nothing more than a PR stunt. Stopping people who appear Latino (and are wearing distinctive footwear), then demanding they provide proof of citizenship…that’s not xenophobic racial profiling? How about making everyone carry proof of citizenship, regardless of their morphology for the same purpose? It’s a draconian solution (and even smacks of Nazi Germany), yet the Arizona legislature wouldn’t be accused of targeting a particular ethnic group. As a person with Latino genetic markers, this new law rankles me. Good luck to either of you in explaining your exhilarating enthusiasm for Arizona Apartheid to California Hispanic voters after the primary.

While you’ve both done a stellar job in painting the other as a secret (eek!) liberal, have either of you given thought to how you’ll portray yourselves to non-Republican voters in the general election? You do understand that relying solely on ultra rightwing voters will not put you in the governor’s mansion, right? You’ve both spewed so much vitriol about progressives that it’s difficult not to take those insults personally. Steve, you’ve got Tom McClintock gnashing his teeth over “environmental extremists.” Nice. You should be thanking those “environmental extremists” for allowing you to breathe air without a gas mask and for not going through life with a third eye embedded in your forehead from swilling toxic water. Meg, you have a commercial where you’re just itching to scream, “I HATE Barbara Boxer. I really, really do! Honestly, I HATE that bitch!” Steve and Meg, we progressives will remember all of this, and if not, Jerry Brown will be sure to remind us if we do forget.

Now, only one of you will secure the Republican nomination. Meg, you appear to have a comfortable lead over Steve – but you’re smart enough to know you can’t take that to the bank (no pun intended). Steve knows that, too. In the waning hours before voting begins, I know it’s going to get gory. Steve, sorry, but when I listen to you I’m channeling Governor George Dukmejian – and no WAY would I want to live through those days again. Meg, I have to admit that I like your take on welfare reform (yes, I admit it, although I identify as progressive, I do wax conservative when the subject of welfare reform comes up). When you speak about union-busting, that’s where you definitely lose me, however. Union organizations are sometimes far from perfect, but without them we’d have no guaranteed minimum wage and no worker reforms. Think of it this way, Meg: if there had been no union organizing, ever, we’d all be too poor to buy all those cool trinkets on eBay. Another thing: your entire identity is so wrapped around your CEO status. I don’t know if you’ve been keeping track of things lately, but CEOs are not super popular right now; you know, what with the Wall Street bailouts and Tony Hayward (CEO of BP) kvetching about “just wanting (his) life back” (never mind that the people of the ruined Gulf Coast would just like their livelihoods back). You might see yourself as an uber-organizer, but we common folk will perceive you as privileged (be sure to leave your Hermès Birkin bag at home when campaigning).

Okay, time to wrap this thing up. Believe me, I could go on and on, but this is a blog post, not a dissertation. Steve, let’s assume you’re the lucky one picking up the Republican nomination: unless the entire state of California suddenly goes Tea Party rightwing, I just don’t see you taking the governorship. I believe you’ve grafted the term ultra-conservative too deeply into your political dermis. So much for looking at the BIG picture, eh, Steve? Meg, should you win the primary, I believe you’ll be a formidable challenger; well, as long as you can make the electorate forget about all that liberal-bashing rhetoric during the primary, of course. I just want to assure you, however, that you won’t have my vote in the general election, that’s still going to Jerry Brown. Just in case you were wondering.

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