Kenyan Lawyer Wants To Buy Malia Obama For Cows, Sheeps And Goats

Posted by | May 26, 2015 21:00 | Filed under: News Behaving Badly Politics

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He likely doesn’t have enough animals–or cash–to purchase one of the First Daughters.

Felix Kiprono has told The Nairobian newspaper that he plans to ask President Barack Obama for his 16-year-old daughterMalia Obama’s hand in marriage when the president visits his countrylater this summer. And he’s willing to offer a dowry consisting of 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats.

“I got interested in her in 2008,” Kiprono said of the first daughter, who was just 10 years old when Obama won the presidency. “As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price.”

“People might say I am after the family’s money, which is not the case. My love is real,” he added. “I am currently drafting a letter to Obama asking him to please have Malia accompany him for this trip. I hope the embassy will pass the letter to him. I will hand it over to the US Ambassador with whom we have interacted several times.”

Should his request be granted, Kiprono said he would forgo champagne in favor of “mursik, the traditional Kalenjin sour milk.” And, “as an indication that she is my queen, I will tie sinendet, which is a sacred plant, around her head.” Then, he added, “I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali and prepare mursik like any other Kalenjin woman.”

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Copyright 2015 Liberaland
By: Alan

Alan Colmes is the publisher of Liberaland.

22 responses to Kenyan Lawyer Wants To Buy Malia Obama For Cows, Sheeps And Goats

  1. Obewon May 26th, 2015 at 21:24

    USA’s counteroffer is to take Pam Geller. We’ll pay you 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats!

    • whatthe46 May 26th, 2015 at 21:42

      hell, come on Obewon, we can do better than that.

    • Suzanne McFly May 27th, 2015 at 06:19

      Are you kidding me? What about the jackasses we will happily turnover? cruz, rubio, rush, beck…..how could you leave them out Obewon? lol

    • Budda May 27th, 2015 at 10:27

      I’ll throw in two road kill deer caucuses.

    • lynchie May 27th, 2015 at 17:02

      and throw in Sarah Palin and Carly Fiorina

  2. whatthe46 May 26th, 2015 at 21:41

    crazy bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Anomaly 100 May 26th, 2015 at 22:03

    He has something in common with Josh Duggar:

    “I got interested in her in 2008,” Kiprono said of the first daughter, who was just 10 years old..”

    • whatthe46 May 26th, 2015 at 23:14

      this artlcle is manking me want to throw up my beer. and in ain’t having that!!!!!!!

  4. katkelly57 May 26th, 2015 at 22:11

    Throw in an elephant and a few wildebeest and you may have a deal.

    • whatthe46 May 26th, 2015 at 23:11

      only if he jumps into a vat full of taz while reeking of pig blood and no way to escape. you know, much like, during the salem witch trials, if you can get back to the surfice, while chained down with fricken cendar blocks, then you’re a witch, if you drown, then you’re innocent.

      • katkelly57 May 26th, 2015 at 23:34

        Huh?
        Watchutalkin’bout Willis?
        Either you got mixed up in posts, or this medible is really doing my head in or I dunno WTF….

        This brain is not following.

        • whatthe46 May 27th, 2015 at 00:01

          lol. he can’t have this kid. oh and i’m so damned tired. i’ll edit later. lol

  5. Aunt Pee May 26th, 2015 at 23:41

    What the fuck?

  6. William May 27th, 2015 at 01:47

    ***

  7. Barry Shitpeas May 27th, 2015 at 04:30

    Sheeps?

  8. allison1050 May 27th, 2015 at 07:13

    What’s with his shirt cuffs?

  9. Terry "Death to Equality" Xu May 27th, 2015 at 14:25

    she should be flattered actually
    that’s probably a very high price in Kenya

    and what woman doesn’t want to cook ugali for her husband

  10. lynchie May 27th, 2015 at 17:00

    He can buy one of the Duggars they seem to have enough to go around

  11. robert May 28th, 2015 at 04:47

    if you ever need his legal assistance ? a barn yard of animals might get you off with supervision

  12. oldfart May 28th, 2015 at 13:08

    I don’t think republicans would allow re-zoning the white house for farm animals.
    He also might want to consult a tailor and a shrink, not necessarily in that order.

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